Author without peer review.
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The Little Things
How do people choosea font for their tattoos?Sans or serif?Small caps? Bold?Which arrangementwon’t get old?
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Onions
Tammy always wondered whydid cutting onionsmake her cry…till her therapist helped herhave a breakthrough.Then she knew.
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Baby Scotty Loves His Babysitters and His Babysitters Love Baby Scotty
Many of you noted with apprehension and alarm and in one case a drunken failed high five that in some recent photos I posted my baby appeared to be in dangerous situations unsupervised. To you I say: not all of those were selfies.
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My Baby Is So Adorable That I Just Had to Post These Adorable Pictures Because He’s So Adorable
Thank you for all of your texts and emails and that one drunken failed high five begging me to post more pictures of my baby online. My feed is a barren wasteland, too many of you lamented, of nothing but interesting news items.
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The Big Boss Man Likes His Coffee
“Hey you,” says the Big Boss Man, “you suck. You’re terrible. Go die.”“Right on, Boss Man,” you answer back, “now how about more coffee?”
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Cellf Control
Canvassing the metro carto count who isn’ton their phoneone must escapedefyignoreresistwithstandthe callingof the pocket…
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The Wine Tasting
Tasting too much wine at 10 a.m.I open my mouth to oxygenateIts qualities escape me
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A Day in the Life of Leisure
Leisure time was what I longed forStressed, impelled from task to taskSleep deprived on dreams I thrivedOf lounging idle on my assk.
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The Snowmans in Sarasota
I read in the newspaper that things back home were getting pretty serious. Normally, I would not read the newspaper, problem solved, but I was bored at the airport and that boredom was getting pretty serious itself.
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Kung Pao Christmas
I’m sometimes askedwhat Christmas meansto me, i.e.a You-know-who.
Working Paper Press 